The Impetus

One morning, I was sitting in my usual place at the couch and realized some mourning doves (I was today years old when I realized it wasn’t “morning”) were nesting on the balcony. They were making cute noises and coming and going. I was actually thinking about putting a birdhouse or feeder up so I can experience stuff like this. Anyway, so cute right? Then, one day, I hear this wild flapping and it turns out a large crow swooped in and grabbed its egg(s) or chick(s). I just saw it standing there, swallowing something. The parents chased the crow as it flew away, but it was already too late. Nature is fucking wild. I still haven’t fully recovered.


  • In April, for the first time, I drank a bit even though I was designated driver. Usually, I go full zero, but it was Yen’s bday, so.
  • My sister also came home to visit and I always need to check myself when we have “guests” over because it’s there’s such a routine that gets interrupted.
  • This month, I went out for dinner in the middle of the week, but I guess because I wanted to try the vegan ramen and I didn’t have work the next day.
  • I also went out when it was sprinkly, which I normally don’t do (it’s called a rain check for a reason), but it was Lo’s bday, so.
  • Something else of note is hanging out with my cousin and playing games, which is something we haven’t done in ages. It’s called relaxing and I apparently don’t know what that is. On a side note, Matt, Megan, and I are an improv troupe now.
  • Also, it looks like I hung out on a Sunday which I never do because I like to have me time on a day before work. Luckily, everyone was available early in the morning to play Pandemic.
  • Clearly, the underlying thread is any excuse to drive my Tesla at any moment, which is an exciting revelation I don’t take lightly because I hypothesized this would happen, but I’m glad it’s actually working. Important events aside, I’ve been trying to not just decline everything and do nothing. Small victories, go me!
  • My grandpa died last month and I’m not sure if I’m in the right headspace to sit down and write a post about it yet.


  • I bought my home gym rack since it was on sale and I think my minimalist starter home gym is complete. I just need to set it up after my parents clean the garage. I’ve just been telling myself that I’ll get around to working out when this is set up, but I’m starting to think that may not happen soon and I just need to start doing something/anything to keep in the routine.
  • I’ve been keeping my schedule light and simple, yet I still find ways to not spend my time wisely despite proper scheduling. It’s a bizarre feeling that I need to overcome. I don’t know what’s going on with me. Part of it may be that I need to get over the fact that I don’t always have to be doing something at all moments, that I need to allow myself to just live in the moment even if the moment is dull. Part of it may be me trying to avoid any sort of responsibility for some reason.


  • I think I shouldn’t be afraid of comfort. We all strive to be comfortable and secure for the most part. And yet we tell ourselves to go outside our comfort zone. I like the idea of both. I want to be able to accept comfort without guilt and, at the same time, be open to exploring outside my comfort zone without anxiety.


  • I washed my car for the first time, actually waking up early as planned and not just sitting around. I previously did a wax and wash, but since she was pretty dusty, I opted for a full wash. I still have issues with it, but hopefully, I’ll get the hang of it. So far, no major damage! I love using the community-recommended no rinse solution to help with the environment. The only issue for me is having to wash my microfiber towels separately and carefully, so that’s a waste there. Maybe it all balances out? I’m happy to report I’m not meticulously wanting to clean her all the time and I’m okay with just enjoying the car as much when she’s clean as when she’s not so clean. These SoCal mini rains can fuck right off, though.

Signal Boost

Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile. A Netflix original film about Ted Bundy from the perspective of his girlfriend. What a trip, moreso researching during/after viewing about what a fucked up human he was. Compelling performances, but was it really something that needed to be made? What did it add to his disturbing story?

The Perfection. A Netflix original movie about two cello players. And y’all thought it was gonna stop there, but it took multiple left turns and I was not expecting that. Wild.

See You Yesterday. A Netflix original movie about two kids experimenting with time travel, which leads to disastrous consequences. I thought it was gonna be a fun, hokey romp through science and time, but it was so much more than that. Time travel yes, but also social relevance.

Us. A movie about an American family attacked by doppelgangers. One of my 2019 favorites so far, I definitely need to rewatch to catch everything. Jordan Peele is brilliant once again. Eerie, satisfying, a trip! I love the subtlety of the genres melding together, in the same vein as A Quiet Place, without too much exposition.

Wine Country. A Netflix original film about some middle aged women who don’t have their shit together, but they’re friends and that’s what matters. It had its funny moments anid the cast is naturally great, but overall tame and menopausal.

You’ll Always Be My Maybe. A Netflix movie about two childhood friends who grow apart and find their way back together. Didn’t that one sentence synopsis just sound like any other rom-com? But Randall Park and Ali Wong are a dream team (high key, I’ve been so ready for this film since I first heard about it). It was so satisfying. My favorites were the cameos and the raps.

Barry (season 2). A show about a serial killer turned wannabe actor, who now has to grapple with what he’s done. A hilarious season, with some of these episodes so unique and creative. It’s a specific mix of dark comedy that works so well, especially during fight sequences.

Bob’s Burgers (season 9). A show about a family and their completely normal, everyday adventures. Always clever, always funny.

Dimension 20 (season 1: Fantasy High). A D&D stream from CollegeHumor about a party of teens attending high school and dealing with the end of the world. Wow, who knew I could get so invested in these characters in such a short amount of time? Funny, refreshing, quick, clever, surprising, and novel. Brennan Lee Mulligan’s DMing style is great!

Easy (season 3). A Netflix original show about the messiness of life and love. Final season! Classic Joe Swanberg mumblecore anthology goodness. I’ve been into anthologies lately, and I like that we see the growth of these characters over the seasons, even if we don’t necessarily see conclusions.

Fresh Off the Boat (season 5). A show about how it is being an Asian American teenager in the 90s. Truly relateable
even if it’s not exactly how I grew up. The nostalgia factor is so strong because it’s like a mirror into an alternate reality. Another beautiful season with still interesting plot lines. My favorites are all the date-specific jokes and the music video re-enactments. And my absolute favorites are the moments between parent and child.

Killing Eve (season 2). A show about a killer and her pursuer and their strange relationship. Bizarre concept, beautifully executed. There are perfectly hilarious moments sprinkled in between. I’m excited to see where this goes next as this season saw more interesting development of their relationship.

Relics and Rarities (season 1). A D&D stream from Geek and Sundry about a group of adventurers working out of a curios shop to save the world. Another short D&D stream where I felt deeply for all the characters, oh my. Deborah Ann Woll is brilliant and so are the guests. Another unique way to run D&D with props and puzzles and fun characters.

The Twilight Zone 2019 (season 1). A rebooted anthology series now exploring the modern world. Hit and miss, but overall, a great update. Jordan Peele is next level as always.

~ by Btab on 2 June 2019.

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