The Future Is

With the coming of March, I find myself yearning for adventure. I awake from my hibernation with a renewed sense of ambition to conquer the world. There’s a sensible calmness in sitting with oneself, observing where one is in the world at this particular moment in time. “Here’s where I’ve been, here’s where I’m at, and here’s where I want to go.” While rain is a definite enzyme to this feeling, I’m ready for the sun and Spring and the end of dreariness, please.


  • I was thinking about my personal independence a lot during my week+ of being sick last month because when I got sick, I turned into an escaped fetus that could not take care of himself outside of the womb. I haven’t been this sick in years and it was miserable and I felt useless. Like there’s no end in sight and you just want to shrivel up so you can crawl back up your mom’s vagina and be swaddled in amniotic fluids (no, just me?). Ever thankful to my parents, with whom I live, because they took care of me when I couldn’t even find the mental and physical strength to take care of myself.
  • Because of the sickness I wasn’t prepared for, I didn’t have any health-hacks I normally do for other things. I resorted to a lot of sugar (cough drops and honey tea). I started just taking hot showers for the steam (though I guess I can’t complain about this habit breaker). The only movement I did was the coughing, which didn’t even give me abs, smh. I slept for a couple hours a day because when I tried to sleep, I just kept coughing myself awake. I’ve never been so wide awake between 0200 and 0400 before. I could barely stomach any food and was definitely losing weight but couldn’t really do anything about it.
  • And while I admit to being melodramatic for the sake of drama, it does go to show that even when you’re about to get your shit together after the new year, a meteor crashes down on all your plans and somehow fucks you up the butt too. While I would like to say I was able to cope, I really was barely holding on to my sanity. I just gave negative shits about everything.


  • Dinners have been a little longer now. Why is that? Because I wait for my parents to finish eating and then I clean up. Not because I am a selfless and helpful individual, but because I like to demonstrate how easy it is to store food without using plastic wrap. Once we are stable with this lesson, I hope to move on to cloth napkins only.
  • I’ve still been recovering from the habit-destroying illness of February 2k19, so it’s been taking me a while to get back into the routines that I inevitably need to keep me tethered to some sort of reality.


  • We celebrated Tet on a rainy Sunday in SoCal, which is unfortunate because the rain makes me want to not celebrate, but instead go back to bed and turn into a chrysalis. My aunt told me she put away her Styrofoam plates because she knows I don’t like Styrofoam (I love when stuff like this happens!).
  • So Dhruv has officially begun the process of showing me how to paint minis and it’s much more involved and intense than I thought. But oh boy, is it addicting! At first, I didn’t think it was going so well, but towards the end, it seemed to be coming together (just have faith, B!). Though my eyes were straining, I completed the applying the base step. And honestly, it’s satisfactory at this level, so I can’t wait to see what’s next!


  • I’m finally slowly moving my money over to an online bank so I can start saving some money instead of letting it just sit there uselessly. It’s also a credit union because I’d rather my money be used by a credit union than a large national bank. That’s not to say I still won’t have some money in the bank account, nor have they personally done wrong by me, but socially aware me wants to do better so this is a happy medium for all parties involved.
  • Speaking of money, I’ve been trying to figure out what I’m saving for. Retirement is always important. But I want a new car. And I still need to get some degrees. And then there’s travel, which technically, is a necessity. And of course, the inevitable rent. It’s been so hard trying to figure out what I want to prioritize, which in a way, is lucky and pretentious of me to even be able to consider this, I realize. But, it’s all relative. I think I have to spend time really honing in on my financial future because money makes the world go round, something of a necessary evil. Unless…I could just go live in some sort of hippie commune and not have to worry about anything.

Signal Boost

The Domestics. A movie about a kinda-couple who have to travel across the state in a post-apocalyptic world and- you guessed it- the whites be psycho! The lore doesn’t make too much sense, but the fun was in all the different gangs that developed and the gore was great. They could’ve done much more with it, but it was a good time when you’re sick and want to watch a movie without thinking too hard.

Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald. A movie not about fantastic beasts, but in fact, about Johnny Depp playing an asshole (so real life, byeee). Ugh, so many issues with this movie, which is a shame because I really enjoyed the first one as it breathed new life into the Potterverse. At least the fantastic beasts were still cute, but they managed to just add them in randomly to remind audiences that this movie is in the Fantastic Beasts universe. Hoping for better installments in the future. RIP Nagini.

The Favourite. A movie about two cousins vying for the attention of a queen. It’s a Yorgos Lanthimos film, so that’s really all you need to know. Any other period piece would be boring to me, but somehow, he makes it so quirky, funny, and random. Emma Stone is bae, as always.

Mary Queen of Scots. A movie about sister(?)/cousin(?)-queens who fight for the throne. I’m not a period piece fan, nor do I really like history as much as I should. I have interest in it now, but who knows what’s real or not? I never appreciated it back in school, so now I’m just confused. That’s all to say I have no idea what the point of this movie was, nor do I understand it’s history in the greater context of world history. Kinda boring and not enough of the baes, Margot Robbie and Gemma Chan.

Mirai. An animated movie about a young boy who struggles to cope with the arrival of his baby sister. But then things get all fantastic and magical and wonderful and beautiful. The animation is brilliant and I’m glad I didn’t know anything about this film before watching because it took me on a magical adventure that I didn’t expect. And it almost feels like just what I needed right now.

Ralph Breaks the Internet. A Disney movie about a videogame character going to the Internet to solve his problems. Y’all, what a cute movie…I’m mainly glad they avoided the dark recesses of the Internet and their references were wholesome. My favorite scenes were hands down the ones with the princesses. Also, Gal Gadot is bae. I’m so glad Disney decided to care about their franchises/properties/sequels.

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse. A movie about some Spider-persons from different universes colliding. Man, what a masterful theatrical experience. When I see a movie like this, I can’t help but be so inspired. The visuals were stunning. The soundtrack was dope. The meta-ness and multiverse were extra meta. The movie wasn’t about some boring white nerd, for once! I need more of the Spider-Verse asap.

Bojack Horseman (seasons 1-5). A Netflix original animated series about an alternate universe where there are anthropomorphic animals and, more specifically, about an actor who is a horrible person. Spoiler alert: possibly my new favorite show. It’s been on my list forever, and I finally had nothing else to binge, so it was the perfect time to get through 5 seasons. First off, I love the lore. All the animals, the world, the continuity, the background…even when it doesn’t make sense. Then there are the social issues and topics, which are handled superbly in a nuanced way. They really cover the gamut here. Lastly, the characters are great. Yes, Bojack is very problematic. Yes, Diane Nguyen is voiced by Alison Brie (but I love Alison Brie, so…). I could go on and on. Another brilliant show in the guise of a comedic cartoon.

The Dragon Prince (season 2). A Netflix animated original show about some kids trying to stop a war by delivering a baby dragon to its mother. Though this season was slower, there was more cuteness and more revelations. I’m so glad this show exists as I’ve missed the brilliance of Avatar: The Last Airbender and this scratches that itch nicely. There are less episodes, so there isn’t time for filler, which is a shame. However, character development is still top-notch.

Weird City (season 1). A YouTube original anthology show about a futuristic city and the weird things that happen in it. It’s Black Mirror, but light and funny and doesn’t make you want to die before you have to experience society’s downfall. And y’all, it’s funny, with such a great cast of guest stars. Also, by Jordan Peele, so get on that ish!

The Paper Menagerie and Other Stories by Ken Liu. A collection of short stories from Liu’s mind that he wanted to give life to. A recommendation from my sister, as this is one of her favorites (and now, one of mine). The themes are varied between history, sci-fi, and I love the underlying Asian-ness of many of them. Particularly, listening to (the award-winning) “The Paper Menagerie” made me cry. It’s my favorite in the collection, but there are so many other great snippets of stories that are so well polished, you’d wish they were full novels.

Why I’m No Longer Talking To White People About Race by Reni Eddo-Lodge. A book about structural racism. Perhaps for me, this wasn’t as enlightening as it would be for others because I already understand how structural racism is pervasive in everyday life (weird flex? humble brag?). Nonetheless, it is an important and short read that I think everyone can learn something from.

Persona 5. A videogame about a group of Japanese high schoolers who gain the power to fix corruption in people’s hearts. My first Megami Tensei game, so I didn’t know what to expect, but it was on a lot of favorite lists. And it was quite precious, despite the fan-service, sexism, homophobia, and obvious catering to a Japanese boy’s wet dreams. At times frustrating, at other times, highly addicting and fun. Catching personas (like Pokemon), deciding what tasks to do each day to raise stats (very stressful), building relationships (though romance was bland and didn’t affect anything). 115+ hours later, I really enjoyed the message of this game and the ending was perfectly suited.


~ by Btab on 2 March 2019.

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