The Pig

Happy lunar new year everyone! This year will bring the pig’s luck and prosperity. Pigs are highly intelligent animals and may all pigs gain good fortune this year. I will make my own fortune by increasing my gratitude and conscientiousness and consciousness in everyday living. I’ve been so busy this month getting general life things in order that the time just flew by. It had been really helpful to redefine and hone in on my values going forward and I’ve generally been much happier with larger and clearer targets. Officially, my time for chrysalis-ing is over.


  • Patience is what I’ve been working on mostly.
  • There won’t be too many updates here as this is more of a passive and in the moment value, but there will always need to be a reminder that this is, indeed, quite important in all aspects of life.


  • I’ve KonMari’d my possessions (a lot of them had been in boxes still after last year’s move) and I feel much better about what I have. It’s not about quantity, but about sparking joy in what you have. I’ve definitely lost a lot of joy in material things, so it was easier than I thought. And for what I do have, there is so much gratitude to give.
  • I’m also trying to deepen my relationship with food. What’s going in my body? Where did it come from? What is it doing to my body? So low added sugar, low alcohol (aka Never Drinking Again TM), low meat.
  • I’m trying to sleep on a very regular schedule. I set up an Google Home routine to play Disney music for me to wake up to, but it’s backfired because I just lay in bed singing Disney songs.
  • It’s been important for me to work on relaxation. When I relax, I really want to be in the moment of relaxation, instead of worrying about this, that, and the other thing.
  • I’m trying to eat bigger meals less times per day. It’s thrown my body and bowels out of whack, but hopefully, it’s for the better. It’s been easier making time to eat, that’s for sure. And I get less hungry throughout the day, which is nice.


  • Who knew that when I really wanted to go back to K-Town for the first time in a long time that it would result in way too much drinking and vomiting? What a hot mess to remind myself why it’s important to eat properly before drinking and also control oneself when drinking. And also, tequila and soju are still the best.
  • Rediscovering my relationship to food, clothes, material objects, media…it’s upped my drive to better my relationships with others as well as myself.
  • I realized this month that a lot of my drive is moving towards helping others. And, perhaps in some selfish way, I want to do the most that I can while I am alive. I never take my job for granted and I am blessed every day that I have work.


  • I’ve gotten back into learning ASL every day.
  • I’m still working on my travel plans for this year. I did happen to organize my list further and make it sortable by priority, continent, best month, and duration so that’s exciting because talking about organization gives me a hard on. I’m slowly but surely planning all my currently wanted vacations’ itineraries.


  • In lieu of working out, I completed 30 days of yoga from my Life List, thanks to Yoga with Adriene and her 2019 journey: Dedicate. It was easier than I thought and I looked forward to it, even after a long day when I was tired and just wanted to vegetate. But I really found the ease and gratitude for my moments on the mat. I’ve never made it to day 30 before this and it was a surprise moment of quiet mat time. The calming music, the rain outside, the flow and connection. It’s crazy and real. So grateful for this. I added some new yoga goals to the List.


  • Budgeting has been a nightmare with everything going on: car, travel, savings, rent, tuition. And this is coming from me, who realizes that I have a lot of monetary and class privilege already. I’ve always (mostly) been pretty wise about money, but there are so many expenses when I want to think about the future (savings and retirement, ugh). I know I’m doing “well for my age”, but I could always be doing better.
  • I’ve slowly been finding freedom in escaping these cultures that consume us…societal pressures, consumer culture, social media entrapment, Big Corporations…and generally opening myself up to a different path. It’s freeing when your mind is at ease. I’ve reignited this desire in myself this year.
  • Since my time is most important to me, I’ve been looking at scheduling hourly activities throughout the day. I used to just give chunks of time, but I’ve been wanting to streamline my scheduling/prioritizing to maximize efficiency and enjoyment. This has helped me be even more aware of what I’m spending time on and helped me fill my day wisely.

Signal Boost

A Simple Favor. A movie about a mysterious gossip girl who befriends awkward girl and then disappears. The trio of Blake Lively, Anna Kendrick, and Henry Golding was electric. I enjoyed the twists.

And Breathe Normally. A movie about a poor mom and an illegal refugee and their lives crossing. Powerful, poignant, on Netflix now.

Aquaman. A movie about Ariel, but the opposite. Okay, I quite enjoyed it because I love water and how bad-ass everything was in Atlantis. Also, Jason Momoa is just a bad-ass. Good direction for DC, despite some cringy dialogue.

Bad Times at the El Royale. A movie about a group of strangers randomly at a random hotel and all the shit that happens. This movie introduced me to Cynthia Erivo, so I’m grateful. I enjoyed it, silly, funny cast.

Beautiful Boy. A movie about a meth addict and how drugs are bad. I was randomly watching this movie and then my parents came in the room and watched too and I was smug as fuck thinking about how I’m such a non-problem child. Timothee Chalamet was brilliant, as always. Finally, a new movie on Amazon Prime that’s worth watching.

Bird Box. A Netflix original movie about what happens when America’s Sweetheart Sandra Bullock has kids in a post-apocalyptic blind world…aka A Quiet Place for eyesight. I quite enjoyed it because I like these sci-fi movies that don’t reveal everything and we only get a glimpse into what’s going on. And Sandy B throwing kids around is hilarious.

Black Mirror: Bandersnatch. A Netflix original movie about how a higher being is controlling us because we are in a simulation and nothing matters. What a revelation of technology (choose your own adventure style Netflix movie). Of course, I just watched it once, but read up on all the pathways. Meta as fuck.

Bohemian Rhapsody. A movie about Rami Malek wearing fake teeth and singing with them on. I mostly only enjoyed the performances and hearing Queen songs.

Boy Erased. A movie about gay conversion therapy. Lucas Hedges is brilliant as ever. It’s still weird that this therapy exists and it’s just sad.

Bumblebee. A prequel movie about how a robot is so cute. A much needed refreshing taste of what the Transformers should be. Fun, not over the top, heartwarming, and bad-ass.

Burning. A Korean movie about a mysterious Gatsby and his effect on the lives of two young people, based on a short story by Haruki Murakami. A slow start because I didn’t know that it was gonna get wild. Holy crap, then I read up about all the things I missed and it’s wild. I love a good psychological thriller. Steven Yeun is the man. One of my favorites of the year.

The Death of Superman and The Reign of the Supermen. Animated movies from the DC Extended Universe about what happens when Superman is defeated. Nothing too memorable here, but a decent story overall.

The Hate U Give. A movie about a black teen girl who grapples with living black in a white world. Very poignant, powerful, relevant, one of my favorites of the year. The hate you give little infants fucks everybody and wow, how true.

Mandy. A movie about Nicolas Cage going all Liam Neeson Takenon us. It got so much praise and it’s very arthouse, but perhaps too much for me.

Mid90s. A movie about growing up in the 90s. I couldn’t relate, but there was some nostalgia there. I like that the actor is the boy in God of War, such a sweet child.

Pahuna: The Little Visitors. A movie, on Netflix now, about Nepalese children who become refugees and become separated from their parents and have to live on their own. I’m glad this was more heartwarming comedy than depressing war drama. So cute and well done.

The Party’s Just Beginning. A movie about modern day Earth Nebula growing up and also sleeping with Ronan the Accuser. Very funny and also, as the story unravels, very sad.

The Predator. A movie about another unnecessary Predator attack. But Olivia Munn, though. I found the comedy and meta aspects actually funny, though all the predator stuff too ridiculous.

Roma. A Netflix movie about a family in Mexico and their maid. So well done, so beautiful, so tragic, so mumblecore.

Support the Girls. A movie about a bunch of girls that work at a sports bar and their manager trying to put out fires all day. Barack Obama said it’s one of his favorites of 2018 (very American working class). Regina Hall is brilliant.

Widows. A movie about heist wives. A unique heist movie that’s well done and the dog in the movie is really cute.

A Series of Unfortunate Events (season 3). A Netflix original show about some orphans and all the shit they put up with. Yay, a wonderful conclusion to the series that reminds me how convoluted the book series became and how lackluster the ending was.

Carmen Sandiego (season 1). A Netflix original show about a thief that gives back and teaches us about geography. Okay, so I don’t remember random geography facts, but it was so nostalgic. The theme song is great.

Outlander (season 4). A show about a time-traveling woman, who decides, for some reason, that the past is better for her. I’m over all the rape and the whiteness, yet I’m still curious where this series goes. This season was interesting, though I’d wish they’d do something more about American slaves and Native Americans. Too cursory, not enough commentary- if you’re going to live in the past, you should try to change it. So many dumb decisions this season.

The Punisher (season 2). A Netflix original show about what happens when you have a superhero movie that has nothing to do with the MCU as a whole. I was thinking about skipping this because of what happened to the other shows, but I’m glad I watched it because it had a nice conclusion.

Tidying Up with Marie Kondo (season 1). A Netflix show about a cute, Japanese fairy that shows up in people’s houses and fixes their mess and their hearts. I quite enjoyed this and it has influenced my life for the better (in case you didn’t realize by reading all of the above).

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (season 4b). A show about a woman who escaped a bunker and is learning to live again. A beautiful conclusion to a hilarious series, I’m glad they ended it before it dragged. As a series, a lot of random-ass humor and laughs. Some of the Asian stuff was questionable (classic Tina Fey).

Can’t Hurt Me by David Goggins. A book about a Navy SEAL who learned to master his mind. I liked it, though I reckon I didn’t revere it as much as I thought because it was probably overhyped for me, I wasn’t at a low point needing motivation, and I frankly disagreed with a lot of it. I liked the “be your own hero”, naturally. I liked the calloused mind, but I’m very much about balance and ease right now, not pushing myself to the limit for no reason. I gleaned a bit of motivation.

The Omnivore’s Dilemma by Michael Pollan. A book about our relationship to food. I liked the presentation of ideas overall, but probably only gleaned one thing: if/when I eat meat, I need to remember that it’s a special thing, taking a life and consuming a life; there is a necessity for gratitude.

Sea Prayer by Khaled Hosseini. A short story/poem about the refugee crisis. I didn’t actually know it was short and illustrated until I got it at the library, as I was preparing to weep for hundreds of pages. Still, though…powerful, heartbreaking, a call to action.

~ by Btab on 5 February 2019.

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