The Time Adventure

Me: The world is evil, people are scum, no one is conscious of how the world is corrupt and being controlled, there is so much nonsensical hate in this world, the planet is doomed.

Also me: I love people, the world can be so beautiful, I am moved by the kindness I see, there is so much to learn and be a part of, I want to witness how great humanity can be.

Also me: You know, I can’t worry about what everyone else is doing, I just need to stay in my own lane and find personal happiness and hope that I can somehow spread good vibes through the universe.

Health Log

– I’m so excited about my vegan cookbook and (slowly) developing my brand. I really want to try so many more recipes and really go around and eat vegan food so I can see what I like and what I can imitate and create myself. Please let me know if you have suggestions for specific vegan food, food that you’d like to turn vegan, or vegan places to visit (and if you’d like to join me)! It’s been a fun process, though time and money are limiting factors (story of my peasant life, amirite?).

– Recently, I’ve felt the need to buy new clothes again. I haven’t shopped in years and I don’t even know what fashion is anymore. Normally, I would look at my go-to brands, but now, I’ve finally been able to look at sustainable brands! Every time I need to purchase something new in my life, I always think about sustainability first. In my research, it felt so good to read about these brands that strive for sustainability. Anyway, since I’ve been stressed out this month, I kind of went on an online shopping spree (usually, I never do this and I only buy things on sale and mull purchases over before). Some thoughts: I have more disposable income now; I am more okay with big purchases; I love supporting these brands I’ve read about; I really wanted to overhaul my wardrobe. On that note, I’m finally going for the minimalist capsule wardrobe that will hopefully bring me a sense of ease. I did a mini-sweep before moving and I haven’t missed any of that clothes, so here we go again. I will do a post when I have a proper chance to wear and review everything. Right now, I have 42 pieces and want 8 more (not including accessories, active wear, underwear), so it’s a nice solid 50 that worked out and satisfies my quirky needs.

– I feel so blah about everything and everyone that I’m getting in one of those hermit moods that seem to strike at random. This month has been nonstop weekend warrior fun and nonstop working (and commuting), so I haven’t really had a chance to breathe (and yet, there’s so many people I haven’t seen in so long). I find mental and emotional health so key to my wellbeing that I want/need to prioritize it. I’m very much an extroverted introvert, so I do need solo time to recharge, though it only happens every now and again.  So sometimes, I don’t recognize it before my battery is suddenly drained. I’d like to be more aware of when these feelings hit so I can be proactive about it.

– I’m also working on brushing things off and not letting things linger with me too long. I think it’s healthy to sit in /things/ briefly to acknowledge them and, in some cases, study and understand them, but if it’s affecting me negatively, just let it go. Bye!

Independence Log

– Fresh off the press from last month’s incident, September started out with another car issue. After telling Hanna that her TPMS was on and she should get that checked, my light came on (classic The Universe). I didn’t have time to go to the tire place to get it checked out, so I just went to a gas station and filled it up myself like a plebeian. All was well until a couple days later and the light came on again. Still, I drove around with it, though I was on edge the whole time. Finally, when I had the chance to make it to my tire place, they informed me that there’s a nail in my tire, but they could repair it. Unfortunately, I had to get to work and wouldn’t be able to make an appointment for a couple of days. So basically, I was freaking out while driving back and forth. Luckily, the guy said that it should be fine for a couple of days. And thankfully, it was okay and they were able to patch it up. I’m still confused why they replaced my sensors and gave me these wheel locks, but I’m not at that social level where I asked the guy. So far, everything has been smooth.

– Yet another reminder that it’s time for a new car- hopefully, this year. But looking into it has been confusing. Buy or lease? New or used? PHEV or EV? Standard or luxury? What’s right for my purposes?

Connection Log

– I’ve been cheating on my friends because I was invited to play in a group that is playtesting Pathfinder second edition. It’s been an interesting juxtaposition in a couple of ways playing with random people, not being the DM, and having different characters. This all makes for unique interactions with people.

– I really think in an age of people not knowing how to prioritize relationships and getting lost in the minutiae of the day to day and just simply forgetting to be aware of time and the present…having routines is so important. Especially for me, who has a schedule that changes daily. So strengthening connections with my friends is something that I don’t take for granted. I understand that people are busy, so finding a weekly/monthly/seasonal routine can help. I find that I go so long without seeing people and it surprises me when I can’t remember when the last time I’ve seen or spoken to someone.

– I’ve been meaning to find a really good organization with which I can volunteer (for a really long time). I told myself to wait for the move before I started looking at places logistically. Luckily, I’m closer to LA now, which has a lot of volunteering opportunities. Yet, I still haven’t really bitten the bullet. I think I’ve finally figured it out: every time I sit down to research volunteering opportunities, I get completely overwhelmed with all the problems in the world and my inability to fix all the ones I am passionate about (not to mention all the problems I don’t know about AND all the problems I want to fix but cannot help with in a volunteer capacity). It sounds so irrational when I type it out, but I can feel my anxiety levels rising just thinking about it now. I suppose it’s how I’ve always been when it comes to the world, holistically speaking. I still can’t even find a charity I like that I want to donate to because I have this fear that it’s not gonna help and there’s corruption and all people care about is money and it’s infuriating. I’m clearly worked up.

– Recently, I heard something from Taliesin Jaffe that I just love. It’s a philosophy that has to do with friend circles: you’re close with several people, then around ten or so in the outer circle, then beyond that ten more, and more acquaintances beyond that. Like orbital rings around the planet that is You. Every now and then, people will move out and there will be a vacuum and someone will move in to fill that space. That’s just the nature of relationships. “I see you out there in the orbit and one day, I’m going to see you twice a week for two years and we’ll be really close and I look forward to that.” It’s such an interesting perspective that really made me think about my friendships and the nature of friendship in general. It’s tragic and it’s beautiful and it’s very mumblecore.

Experience Log

– I don’t know why, but I suddenly had a desire to go clubbing again. While it was fun and wild, I definitely don’t know how and why we did it so often. Still, I guess it’s fun every now and again. I think maybe I’m trying to hold onto my youth and convince myself I can still go hard when I want to (which I can!). Also, I think I currently am holding on to a lot of stress that I need relieved. Nothing like a good dance and a good sweat.

– Ong Ngoai’s birthday was this month, so we were thankfully able to celebrate another year with him. A minor note of reflection: I really thought about time and how it changes us so infinitesimally that you don’t notice it in the present, but when you think back to say a decade ago and how different things were. Sometimes, I’m just so grateful to be able to have such a large extended family. These weeks have been blurring, moving so fast, I can barely catch a break. But even as the family changes, even when reunions are few and far between…it’s something so stable that when we are together, it’s like nothing’s ever changed. I’m still the kids’ generation and I still feel that way. I sit at the metaphorical kids’ table and I love it.

Signal Boost

– Searching. A movie about a girl who goes missing and her father’s search to find her (literally and metaphorically). The plot twist is that it’s an Asian American family. Where it could have been any family, it was an Asian American family. Beautiful to see. Also, I thought I could predict what was going to happen, but I wasn’t ready! Edge of my seat. Heart beating. John Cho and Debra Messing were brilliant.
– Leave No Trace. A movie about a war veteran who has difficulty in society, so he and his daughter live in the woods. I thought this movie was about zero waste, but it’s not. There’s much beauty in the quietude of this film. After watching, I felt empty. Such sadness. I love that there wasn’t any sensationalized drama, it was just an experience. While I do sometimes feel the desire to get away and be a hermit, I know I don’t understand the thoughts and feelings that affect veterans with PTSD. In personal conclusion, war destroys people and is completely unnecessary (thus, the tragedy of wasted lives).
– Destination Wedding. A movie about two weirdos attending a wedding. The plot twist is that the two weirdos are Keanu Reeves and Winona Ryder, so I had to watch. It’s literally just the two of them talking to each other the whole time and their chemistry is great and it was annoying but also oddly charming. Almost mumblecore in a way.
– Sierra Burgess is a Loser. A Netflix original movie about a girl who gets a text from a boy who thinks she’s someone else, so she naturally decides to catfish him because she’s a loser. It was cute (Justice for Barb!) and nice and all, but when you think of the implications of the movie, it’s not the best message to put out there. Not a lot of character development besides “the popular girl”.
– Adventure Time (season 10). A show that’s more than a kid’s animated show on Cartoon Network; a show that touched my heart and my soul and taught me so many things. Season 10 was a beautiful conclusion to the series and I’m tearing up just thinking about it. This is perhaps my second favorite show of all time (the first being Avatar: The Last Airbender) because it (along with ATLA) is a show that is presented to kids but doesn’t dumb it down or expect its audience to lack maturity. It’s real, it’s thought-provoking, it’s innocent but wise, it’s cute, it’s simple and it’s utterly beautiful. It’s just a boy and his brother/dog and their friends and his coming-of-age journey. What a special show. Also, I watched the SDCC panel on YouTube because I missed it when I was there and I’m glad I didn’t go because I definitely started crying.
– Preacher (season 3). A show about a man who tries to find God to figure out why he’s left Heaven. Very irreverent, very tongue-in-cheek. This season was great because we got to see Angelville, more of the hilarity of the Grail, and Les Enfants du Sang, all different groups, each with their own silliness. I like the direction the show is heading this season because it’s different from the comic, but still familiar.
– Forever (season 1). An Amazon Prime original (I know, wtf I never watch these, also they have commercials before each episode and also Jeff Bezos is a bitch) about a married couple who deals with the mundanity of…life. Alan Yang + Fred Armisen + Maya Rudolph, so I was pretty sure it would be great. But little did I know there was a twist and it was quirkier than I imagined. It’s so cute. There’s a particular episode that has nothing to do with the main cast that was a highlight (I love when shows do this). Fred and Maya are, of course, amazing.
– The Dragon Prince (book 1). A Netflix original computer-animated series about a war between humans and elves and a group of kids attempting to end the war. Y’all, this is so cute. I mention computer animated because I’m not a huge fan of cel shading, but it’s not horrible here and the animations are kind of cute. But in case you needed more convincing, it’s from Aaron Ehasz, a writer from A:TLA and stars Jack DeSena, voice of Sokka…and it’s very reminiscent of the show in general. Ugh, why is the first season so short? The characters are great. The fantasy is wonderful. I’m excited already to see where everything goes.
– Maniac (season 1). A Netflix limited series about test group participants in a study for drugs. It is a wild ride. Random, wacky, and beautiful (particularly the ninth episode). Jonah Hill and Emma Stone are hilarious. Sonoya Mizuno is new bae. It starts off rather slow and confusing, but things pick up. Really, just enjoy the ride.
– Crazy Rich Asians OST. Who know Chinese music was so lit? Not me, so even more exposure from this movie. My favorites are Kina Grannis’ Can’t Help Falling in Love, Katherine Ho’s Yellow, Cheryl K and Awkwafina’s Money, Wo Yao Ni De Ai, and My New Swag.
– Hatsukoi by Utada Hikaru. Another masterpiece by the one and only. Fun, cute, and catchy. Everything is great. She’s matured so much. My favorites are Play a Love Song, Anata, Chikai, Forevermore, Too Proud…ugh, basically every song.
– High As Hope by Florence + the Machine. Magic, but what else does one expect from Florence? I love how the songs build. There’s a heaviness in her voice that just melts into my soul. My favorites are June, Big God, Sky Full of Song, Patricia.
– In the Waiting by Kina Grannis. A beautiful, soul-feeding, quiet, calming album that really helped me over the weekend. My favorites are Birdsong, California, Lonesome. The whole album is great and I’m glad I found it at the just right time.
– Nina Cried Power EP by Hozier. Such a powerful set of songs by this man who hasn’t released anything in so long. There’s something in his voice that invokes such strength and it resonates with me. Also came at the right time in my life.
– Expectations by MAGIC! Okay, I really enjoyed their first album even though everyone says they’re a one-hit wonder. This album is actually pretty great. Its mellow, tropical vibes calm me.
– Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan. A book about the most annoying rich people. Listen, I wanted to enjoy it, but it wasn’t easy. The movie is my favorite, so I knew there was stiff comparison (and I’ve heard this book isn’t so great). Luckily it was short, so I was able to get through it quickly. All the characters were annoying in the book (literally, all). The brand name dropping became confusing and I simply didn’t care. All the changes they made to the movie were great and really made the story cohesive (literally, all). The single thing I did enjoy about the book was the infusion of culture and dialect, which the movie lacked in comparison. I do appreciate that the book exists in order to give us the masterpiece film, though.
– Totally Awesome Hulk by Greg Pak. A comic about Amadeus Cho, a genius, taking over the mantle of the Hulk (not really the mantle, so much as the entirety of Hulk himself). I’m not here to discuss “changing superheroes” and “diversifying comics” because I don’t need to have this talk right now or ever. I’ll just say it’s important and it doesn’t change your beloved character, so stop complaining if it makes minorities enjoy it too. This is a beautiful arc with a mainstream hero and an Asian American lead. I’ve been a fan of Greg Pak and I’ve been eager to read this run. I truly enjoyed the AA cast of characters coming together and the little touches of Korean culture in Cho’s life. I never really liked Hulk (Banner is depressing and Hulk is just angry), but this was an excellent change of pace.

~ by Btab on 28 September 2018.

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