The Inspiration

I always find my wanderlust comes in waves, and it’s generally tempered by limiting factors such as money, time, an unknown future, companionship, and general feasibility.

Currently, it’s fueled by my ongoing desire to explore, attempts to budget and organize, a personal Spring awakening, rediscovered self-confidence, and travel research (which is fun in and of itself).

Last year, I did a lot more travel than I thought I would, even when shit came up (because 23 sucked). I was able to do a lot of stuff I wanted to do, but realistically knew I had to put a lot of the “bigger” stuff on the back-burner.

That’s still the case now, as it’s not like I have a solid career or steady path. But I find that, with a bit of planning, and some luck, things can work out. I can have the best of both worlds. I shouldn’t have to put one thing on hold to pursue another.

Through the first quarter of the year, things have been shaky, but I’ve been trying to keep positive and focus on getting back motivation for most things. It’s been easier to bite down on monthly goals; things seem easier to chew. I’ve been keeping myself grounded. But sometimes, I need to remember to chase my dreams and find that ambition I used to have.

With these goal posts (lol) I’ve been writing, I noticed I was thinking small. Of course, I needed these to help get confidence and momentum. But now, I need to see the bigger picture: think holistically. Although overall quite fulfilling, there are times in my life when I want something more.

I’m not exactly sure what it is, but something has been holding me back. It’s probably some kind of fear of failure. But now’s the time to pursue what I want. There’s no time for the contrary. Right now, I’m lucky because there’s nothing tying me down.

Coasting is not an option.

Settling is not an option.

For now, I’m going to discuss some past limiting factors (excuses?) in my travel plans, because I’m ready to kick it into high gear this year. My overall goal is something “big” every month for this year.

“Big” of course, is subjective. In this case…I guess it means something new and/or a trip.  I just want to do something each month, excluding February, where I went into semi-hermit mode. For example, January was a snowboarding/cabin trip for G’s birthday. Nothing too big or anything I haven’t done before, but it was a “trip” after all. March was a little different, as I went to Wizarding World of Harry Potter. Of course, it’s just a day trip to an amusement park, but nonetheless, I do count this as something “big”. So as you can see, it’s a spectrum. What I won’t include are small hangouts, like kickbacks and dinners.

Anyhow, that’s all semantics. You get the idea.

Money as a limiting factor is always a very real factor. I mean, can’t go anywhere if you can’t afford it. Luckily, I think I’ve saved up enough to take some trips. I’ve also become better at budgeting. In fact, I fell within my low-ball budget for all my intended trips this year.

Alas, I’ve had to save the more expensive trips for the future, but by then, I’ll be a master travel-budgeter. I’ve divided my list into tiers based on finance, so it all works out. I don’t really want to take those major trips until I’m older and more financially stable anyway.

Lately, I’ve realized investments generally are worth it (If you haven’t heard me say “Worth it!” recently, we haven’t hung out enough). Everything is worth it in some way or another. I just gotta be smart about money, as always is the case.

For instance, I’ve been able to save money because I didn’t always go out much a few years back. And when I did, I rarely made purchases. These days, I’m a lot less thrifty. But I’ve also learned what’s “worth it” and what isn’t. I think I’m going to start spending less money when I go out in attempts to save a bit here and there for travel expenses.

Time. It always feels like there’s no time, or time is moving too quickly. It’s all about prioritizing what’s important and learning the balance between dedication and sacrifice. If I want it enough, I should make time for it. The reality is this: it’s never really a good time to travel, and postponing plans continuously leads to never taking that leap.

It’s hard as an introvert (moreso an INFJ, and even moreso, an extroverted introvert). Half the time, I just want to stay at home and spend time with myself. I never really feel regret for choosing not to go out. I like not having FOMO. I like to do things I want on my own time. But it’s really what I want to make time for that I need to discern.

I fluctuate between the extremes of “must see and do everything right now!” and “can I just stay in bed all day/week?”…there is no in-between.

An unknown future as a limiting factor is important, but not as important as I make it out to be. There’s always the what-if. What if I end up doing this or going to school here or what will my future hold for me??

It seems like unfounded, unnecessary pragmatism. And it is. It’s stupid to put potential plans (and other things) on hold because of what might happen.

Companionship. Oh…

It’s a constant struggle between wanting to go alone, wanting to go with friends, and wanting a girlfriend when said friends aren’t down.

I like being alone and I hear it’s a must to travel alone at least once. I do a lot of things alone, but that usually involves me staying in, rather than going out. I’d like to do that more…masturdating, they call it: going out alone and treating yourself to a date.

I guess it depends on the trip and the friend. Some trips are meant to be done with others. And some people aren’t meant to travel with you; especially when you’re surrounded by flaky people, you must be wary; good friends do not always make good travel buddies.

The struggle occurs when you and your friend(s) have to coordinate and compromise when planning a trip. I get impatient when I have to wait to see if people are actually able to commit, even though I realize we’re all at different places in our lives and it doesn’t always work out so nicely. The options are: plan something and see who can make it vs. plan something based on who can make it.

I hate being dependent upon others. But when they show interest, I’d like to be able to accommodate so we can work together and both have a successful trip. But maybe part of me just doesn’t want to go alone, though I’d like to work on this. Unfortunately (or fortunately), I don’t think I’ll be making any solo trips this year.

Reminder to self: Yes, I have a checklist of things I want to do and places I want to see. But really, there’s no rush. And I have to be ready to change plans and leave wiggle room.

Something I realized this week while trying to plan trips is that it can be overwhelming. There’s so much to do, and the completionist in me knows I’ll never get to see everything. So there’s a bit of sacrifice going in, and knowing I don’t really want to repeat places any time soon.

Though a lot of the fun is planning and prepping and anticipating, in a way, this is a limiting factor in and of itself. As with a lot of things, I’m a heavy planner and sometimes forget that I need to just get out and be a doer instead.

My hope for the future is that this is not all planning, as a lot of times in the past, it always ends at the planning stage. I always discover some “reason” that I can’t travel. I know my life is not where I want to be and there’s a lot to work on, but I don’t want to delay myself from seeing the world because I’m too busy working on my life and my future. I fear growing comfortable and complacent in a bubble. As always, life is a balance.

I think I’ve touched on all the general hurdles I’ve faced in the past trying to plan trips. I think the takeaway lesson here is to just go out and do it, commit to it, and don’t look back. This is something I’ve been working on this year already, so I’m ready to go all in.

~ by Btab on 1 April 2016.

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