The Log #8

Sunday 11/22/15

Another late start. I decided to sleep on the couch last night, which means I stayed up pretty late. When I woke up, my first priority was meditation. I hit a milestone today- 25 minutes. It wasn’t easy, my mind wandered, but overall, pretty doable. There were a couple “dark cloud” thoughts that I had to let drift by.

On Sundays, I like to plan my weekly schedule, remembering anything I need to do and fit in. This week is pretty light because of the holidays. Spent the day meal prepping, finishing work, listening to music, reading, watching TV. Into the Badlands is my new favorite show. After watching TV, I looked up articles about being more conscious and mindful. My mom was hanging out with the aunts over the weekend, so I got the house to myself. I’ve stated this before, but it’s nice to just be loud in general at all hours of the day and night. This weekend was particularly refreshing. It was a perfect lazy Sunday.

I texted my sister that she needs to take Persie. I’ve been worried so much about her that it’s sapping my energy. It’s not that I’m giving up on her, it’s just that I can’t keep taking time off work to go to the vet, when they don’t even know how much longer she’ll need to heal. I’ve been lucky so far because holiday scheduling has kept my work week pretty light this month. And my mom isn’t supporting me spending so much money at the vet. And long term, I have to think what we can do. We can’t put her back outside to get attacked again. My parents refuse to let her stay in the house. I refuse to get rid of her. We are at an impasse.

I think I had a curt tone when talking to my mom today and I snapped at Persie once.

This was a tougher day to get through, and I knew I needed a longer meditation time.

My sister actually texted me last night that she gets anxiety with Persie and may give her up for adoption. It’s sad, but maybe it’s for the best. I’m trying not to be selfish here, but ultimately, she is my sister’s dog, and the decision lies with her.

 

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~ by Btab on 8 December 2015.

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