The Log #3

Tuesday 11/17/15

I couldn’t get out of bed this morning. It seems to be a habit because I know exactly the amount of time I need to get ready, so I spend every extra moment under the sheets. Obviously, I’m trying to break this habit so I’m trying to be more alert in the mornings. But it’s just so cold and I’m so tired.

Besides that, I went into work and my afternoon meeting was canceled so I got to go home for a bit and squeezed in a quick workout and meditation and prepped some food for tomorrow. Went back to work, then got home and had some time to kill before dinner. I decided to read some articles online, a lot of self-help stuff that I like reading about.

Finished meal prepping, watching TV, and researching. All at the same time.

I’ve hit a hard reset button on my life. Writing out my feelings and anxieties has really helped me. Of course, there’s always stuff to worry about, but hitting such a low has made me realize the only way to go is up. So I’ve spent my time doing more proactive things. I can still watch TV, but let’s meal prep or actually do some solid research too. When I go home, I’m not gonna nap or sit around on the computer, I’m gonna try to work out or meal prep or get something done I needed to do.

I checked myself when I got road rage.

I hope this newfound motivational fuel lasts long and I don’t get burnt out again too soon. I must keep the momentum going! One more month until 24.

This was a good day, besides not working a lot. It was a day where I got many things done, and I need more days like this. It definitely made me feel a lot better to be accomplishing all the day’s goals. I like that I was so motivated to do things. I didn’t nap, though I did have trouble getting out of bed. I got road rage, but I was able to control it. And throughout this process, it’s been “Am I really angry?” and “What am I actually mad about?”

Also, I really love when TV shows are so poignant, or at least, I find messages because I can relate. In today’s episode of Adventure Time, BMO (who has a birthday during the holidays like me), goes on a bildungsroman-type walkabout, and questions a lot about life and growing up. Not to mention, Jake talks about growing up and being old too.

“If I change, will Finn and Jake still love me? Will I love them?…Does growing up just change your body or change your soul? Maybe I could just stay the same forever.”

“I need to have some time alone, but you’re all really nice.”

“I guess all I can do is listen to the heart Moe gave me…But I’m different. It’s not just Moe up here, it’s me too. And if I can trust in Moe, I can trust in me!”

“Oh boy, it sure is confusing being grown.”


~ by Btab on 3 December 2015.

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