The Frustration

Wow, in the rare times that I procrastinate and become really unmotivated, I really really commit. I think it’s been more of a combination of things, really. This year going by so quickly, it kind of started me back to reality.

It’s easy to get wrapped up when you’re working a lot. Between work and working out, there’s not a lot of downtime these days. At least, I’m not napping anymore (or as frequently). Weekends seem to be time to catch up on sleep and actually do things, though I end up feeling like I still haven’t done anything productive. There is no free time, though I do consider working out a hobby. I wouldn’t necessarily call it bodybuilding though; nutrition is a tangent to that hobby, and another tangent to that would be cooking. So there’s a hobby web. Otherwise, I wish I had time for other things.

I’m getting that itch for doing fun activities again, though these days, I don’t have the time like I did in my youth. Now, it’s more about doing new things with friends, trying new food places (lol), cooking (as previously stated) new things, reading (as much as I can before my eyes get too tired…sigh…), and then watching movies/shows when I get the chance. I’ve definitely tried to cut down the amount of movies I watch by trying to judge whether or not it’d be a waste of time. I’m also trying not to start too many new shows and also trying to stop watching some. So far, I’ve failed on both counts. I do want to get back into drawing. Recently watching Guardians of the Galaxy made me really want to do a drawing (ugh, I need to invest in some fancy artist colored pencils). I’ve been to a couple concerts this summer and already bought tickets for another one. Music is so wonderful. My concert-going goal is accomplished, but I got to keep it up!

I’ve just been so frustrated lately. It feels like I have no time for anything. I feel so unmotivated to get my life together, though it’s becoming embarrassing and awkward because I’m not at the place I want to be at in life. And lastly, I kind of feel like my lack of romance is rather annoying.

Anyway, the point of this is that I finally signed up for the GRE after a really long time that I don’t want to specify. I think I was avoiding it because (1) the cost, (2) the future, (3) studying for it gave me something to do while I sat here and avoided my responsibilities (which I’ve been really good at doing lately)

I kind of just feel like nothing is going my way and I’m rather unsatisfied with most of the aspects of my life. It’s like I’m stuck in a rut and have been trying to climb out, but I’ve just given up lately. And it’s so frustrating. Sigh, another case of the so-much-to-do-so-little-time and an appearance by the get-your-shit-together train.


~ by Btab on 10 August 2014.

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