The Childish


Time is moving too quickly. Ironically, I’ve been waiting 2 long months for the Childish Gambino concert over the weekend, and it finally came.

The good news is that it was the best thing ever! Besides the two tallest people standing in front of me (I swear, I should’ve claimed I was Harry Potter and start to make out with the tall redhead in front of me), the two horny Asian girls behind me, and the tool to the right of me, who was loudly trying to plug his girlfriend’s esophagus with his tongue…the feeling was amazing. It was all hot and sweaty and loud and I was jamming out. If only he sang “My Shine”! But then again, every song he played was awesome; I didn’t recognize some of them, which I presume were from his earlier works (before Culdesac).

I met Donald Glover at SDCC10, and he was the nicest guy. Who knew he could spit the illest rhymes? Makes me love rap.

Another funny thing is that there were some OMFG and APO people there as well as some of the cast of Community (wow, I wish Ken Jeong was there, then I could say I was in the same room as him), though I didn’t find out until after it was over.

Just another amazing concert to add to my list. Though when I think about it, I probably will never pay for a concert of an artist that I don’t like, so all concerts I go to will be amazing to me. Hmm.

In other news, I’m super stressed out [because of my test on Wednesday] because my enrollment window is opening and I went to talk to my counselor last week and everything is kind of falling into place for me to graduate by the end of this year (probably during the summer). But I’m not sure if I want to!

On one hand, I don’t want to waste time or money going to classes when I don’t need to be. I also won’t be going to grad school, so I’ll still technically be around the area, I just won’t be walking around campus. I will free up a lot of time to live, if I’m basically just working (and maybe taking classes as a part-time student).

But it seems weird to me. This sounds like a humble brag, but I’m saying that I would be graduating college at age 20. Time is moving so fast. I still feel like a child. I feel young still. Like I’m not ready to move out of college-student mode and into professional mode. I know what I want to do with my life, but what if I’m missing out? I feel like there’s a lot of stuff I still want to do. Or at least I think so. There’s an invisible list in my head that is not directly defined, so it’s a lot of random stuff. I think if I make a list, it will be too long and I cannot achieve the stuff I want to by the end of the school year. So I keep it unknown and random so I don’t feel so bad. I think if something comes up that I have to do as an undergraduate, I will go for it. However, a lot of stuff that’s “college experience” stuff doesn’t necessarily have to be completed as a college student. I have made so many wonderful connections here already, that when I leave, I’m not really leaving. I still feel like a kid. A young kid who is still figuring stuff out and trying to live.

But I feel old because I may be done with college so early. It’s a mixed bag. I know my decision will be to graduate early, whether it be Spring, Summer, or Fall quarter. I just don’t know how I feel about it. Am I ready?

My mind has been putting things into perspective over the weekend (even though it should be focused on studying). Will I be one of those people that regrets the things he didn’t do more than the things he did do? It’s hard to make decisions, but I’m going to just sit by and let the current drift. I’m more the type to want to take control of my life. Although this is priority, I’m also putting a lot of things into perspective, as is natural when I’m thinking about life and the future and stuff. It seems scary, but life can just pass me by. Yes, I will be graduating at a young age, but when I think about it…I hesitate. For example, how is this quarter already almost over? I feel like I haven’t done anything at all and it’s already almost over.

I need to get my life back on track. Things have not gone according to plan this quarter, so I endeavor to make next quarter better. I need to better myself. I need to focus on the big picture. But I also need to take the time to pause and enjoy the small things in life. Because life is moving too fast around me, and I can’t just waste it by sitting around.

This Thursday, I can finally relax for the first time in a long time. Like really relax, where I won’t have to worry about anything for the next week. Oh, I can’t wait.

~ by Btab on 14 November 2011.

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