The Hypertension

Oh god, it has only been a week. Longest week of my life. Toughest week of my life. Obviously, these are all indicators of an oncoming rant. Take me, Code 3, thanks.

I had a midterm Monday morning. Not too bad, as I had the weekend to study. And then I drove up to Long Beach to wait for my EMT class. I studied for a few hours in the car and then went to class. Such a long day. Let me state the logistics for you: Wake up at 7. Irvine 9-12. Drive to LB 12-1. Lunch/study 1-4. EMT 4-10. Drive home 10-11. Do shit 11-1. Sleep 1-7. Rinse, repeat.

The first class wasn’t all too bad. We didn’t have a quiz. Come Tuesday, it all repeats, but I stopped by my cousin’s house nearby to study in a house. EMT quiz on Tuesday, not too bad. And then I drive home at night, exhausted. I have to refill my gas the next morning (which I just filled on Sunday). Ridiculous, so I decide to stay at my cousin’s house.

I go over after class on Wednesday and drop my stuff off and study for my Public Health test on Thursday. And then I go to class. More stress. And then I go back to my cousin’s house, study a little more, and we decide to go to sleep. But we didn’t want to sleep. We clearly had a great talk. We reminisced about our childhood, and you know how you don’t remember a lot of stuff but the other person does and when they bring it up, you remember it? A lot of that going on. So nostalgic…But we stayed up until 3, so I had to sleep because I wanted to wake up early because I didn’t really know what i5 south traffic was like.

I woke up extra early, maybe at 6ish, and headed out. And then I failed that midterm, and went back to his house, and then…I got my first ticket ever. My record is ruined. Apparently, they have street sweepers and I can’t park on a certain side of the street during certain hours. So I got really depressed. I really can’t afford to be spending money on carelessness. So now, I can’t afford food for the next couple weeks. I’m beyond disappointed. So I spent the rest of that day even more stressed out about that. But really, I had to study for my skills day on Friday. And little Ryder was home that day, so I just wanted to play with him. So cute. Generally, I don’t get to see the kids because they have school and swimming when I’m at the house, and then when I get back, they’re already asleep.

After class on Thursday, I just stayed up and studied and watched movies and finally got to just hang out with my cousin (usually, it would be me sitting there reading and him playing games). And then we slept late, and woke up late. I was freaking out for my patient assessment skills, and then class time. I found out a classmate was last quarter’s APhiO president from Rho Gamma! That was cool. But anyway, we measured our pulse rates, and mine was constantly racing the whole time. So basically, I bombed my patient assessment. We go into a room and simulate an actual accident that occurs and we’re supposed to know what to do. Problem was, I forgot to study how to deal with shock, so my mind just went blank. And then I got yelled at by a huge black guy and humiliated and on the verge of tears and then I finally got to go home.

I drove back towards home, and I picked up Alan and headed straight for Loraine’s house for the end of her birthday party. Finally! Some fun time. It was a lot of catching up, I hadn’t seen her since Spring Quarter, so it was really nice just to sit and talk and laugh and relax and not worry about anything. I felt even more nostalgic of the old days…middle school! LOL. I wish I had more time to hang out with people.

I was going to hang out with others after, but it was just really late and I was tired. So I headed home and finally got to sleep in my bed. It felt like so long. The week passed by so slowly. I’m drained. I’m constantly nervous and stressed out and I feel so incompetent. It’s only going to get worse. I just need to handle. It was a pretty bad week, but I’m glad I got to hang out with my cousin and then see Loraine at the end of the week. At least I get to see some familiar faces during the week. My life is now class, study, class, sleep.

I don’t know what I got myself into. But I have to prove to my parents that I’m doing okay. I really missed their faces as I hadn’t seen them all week. Or their cooking. I don’t know how people live in college far from their parents. I want to live here forever in the comfort of my home and family and never have to worry about life. Sigh.

I realized so much shit this week. About myself. And again, it has only been one week.

~ by Btab on 20 August 2011.

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