The Stalling in the Stall

The "stifled teehee" face.

I’ll get back to studying later. But now: the harrowing minute-by-minute details of my pooping time. Close the tab if you don’t want to know.

So I forgot my laptop charger today and thus, could not do any homework or studying or planning or surfing the web like on a normal Monday where I have all this time on campus. And I had 4 hours to kill. So naturally, I went to go poop. And I found another beloved handicap stall to make into my new niche. It was extremely spacious, as it was a giant square (not just a vertically longer stall). There were 2 toilet paper roll holders with multiple toilet paper rolls each, all of which were perforated. And this was the most I’ve seen: 3 holders of toilet seat covers, randomly scattered against the back wall. Quite a strange sight.

TMI: I spent around 34 minutes sitting there, passing what seemed to be the most painful piece of shit ever. I liken it to childbirth, but thankfully, no rupture. And it was one of those tricky ones that feels like a lot, but when it finally passes, it is this small portion. It also tricked me when I thought I was done pushing, but just pebbles fell out. Like a dam. I spent the longest time trying to get it out, tearing in the eyes, and sweating, and huffing…all to no avail for 4 of the longest, most excruciating minutes of my short-term memory. Now it may seem like a short time, but 4 minutes of that pain, I wouldn’t wish upon anyone. It was quite annoying, but a new experience nonetheless. I’m glad it was in a nice, clean, fresh-smelling, empty bathroom that is my new favorite. The only thing is the non-motion-sensing devices, which can actually be nice when you don’t want the toilet to flush just because you wiggled a little to the side of the toilet.

And then after lunch, I went to find a cozy spot out of the food court, but still indoors of course, to lay down and rest my eyes. Long day, time to study!

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~ by Btab on 29 November 2010.

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