The Salt In My Wound

The "Oh, how celebrities are my only friends" face. I love them!

Just kidding, the title is misleading. In fact, it’s the complete opposite– if that phrase has an opposite. It was just great piled on top of good. Today, my sister and I went to the Grauman’s Chinese Theater in Hollywood again, but this time, for the premiere of Salt. Well, from last time, I decided to bring my lucky fedora that I brought to the All About Steve premiere. I also didn’t bring a Sharpie or anything to sign, thinking if Angelina came across the street, she would bring her own Sharpie.  I also didn’t have any hope after what happened at Inception.

But my whole day was turned around. Well, the traffic was a bit more horrific than the last couple times. We left earlier, but got there at pretty much the same time, so there was a huge crowd (especially for Angelina) so it was pretty intimidating. But this premiere was different in the setup. Instead of the celebrities standing between the fans and the press, the press stood between the celebrities and the fans. So basically, the people that would be posing for pictures walking across the carpet would be able to actually be seen by the fans on the other side of the street.

Well, later than normal, the press arrived, crowding up the entire carpet, so we actually could barely see anything. But none of that mattered in the end. The first limo arrived and I was so surprised that it was Jon Voight! So. Awesome. I was ready to leave because I was already pleasantly surprised. He crossed the carpet stopping to talk with everyone and then waved at the crowd when we yelled at him. In fact, this crowd was unusually unruly and impatient and angry and loud. It was frightening.

We actually found a spot up front in the middle, right in front of Grauman’s entrance. It was near the press side, which did not extend all the way to the end to the streetlight. So we thought it would be a nice spot if anyone did cross because wherever the person crossed, we would be in the middle so we would have a high chance of seeing them before they would be ushered away. Bradley and Sandra crossed on the sun side, where people usually don’t wait until really late because it’s so far away…but Leo crossed from the crowded side, so we didn’t get to meet him that time.

Surprisingly, we see a car pull up to the sun side of the street and it just happens to be Angelina Jolie, immediately crossing the street. But it wasn’t just her. Brad Pitt was with her! Double dose of awesome! Well, this is where the people got fucking nuts and pushed us against the fence and were yelling and screaming. But I was speechless. I just snapped a whole bunch of shots, just shocked and numb and in love all over again.

Yes, one of my goals was to meet Angelina Jolie, my childhood love. When I actually had some sexual desires, she was my first. It was almost ridiculous how much I pined over her and then got over her just like that. But then I surprisingly liked her again recently, so life has worked out today. I still can’t believe I met her, seeing as how I thought she was extremely inaccessible and among the gods.

She was fucking hot. Hotter than ever. And she looked genuinely happy. I feel like I’m repeating everything because my sister and I ranted on the car ride home, but she and Brad go so well together. It’s hard to explain how nice they actually seem. They smiled and waved and said hello to as much people as they could. But yes, it was crazy because people were yelling at both of them and there were tons of bodyguards trying to keep people at bay and keep them calm. Unlike the other premieres, the 2 of them went really fast, so no stopping to take pictures with people. And since I didn’t have a Sharpie for her to sign my hat, I had to settle for just a touch.

My wish came true. Before I knew it, Brad and Angelina were right in front of me. Now, this next part may seem totally cheesy and ridiculous, but it’s actually how I felt. I reached out my hand. Time froze. I blocked out every noise in the background. I felt no shoving against my back. I actually don’t even remember what I said. But they were standing together. And Brad Pitt looked at me, paused smiled, said hey, and shook my hand. WOAH. Then right after, Angelina looked at me and smiled for literally the longest time, and shook my hand. She might have mouthed thank you or something, nodded or something. I just don’t remember. It was so amazing. SHIT. They looked so nice. My theory is that they wanted to adopt me or I reminded them of Pax or Maddox or something. I didn’t see them do that to anyone else before. I unfortunately only have memories to recount, but no pictures of me actually shaking hands with them. I wish someone from the news was videotaping.

Well, time started up again and they zoomed by. By then, I was done and happy and dead. So we pushed out of the giant crowd and had to continue to try and get out when people were screaming and shoving. We flipped out all the way to Popeye’s (finally, I get some decent fried chicken) and back. Unfortunately, we didn’t want to stay to see Liev, and I didn’t get any autograph (I should’ve brought Mr. And Mrs. Smith), but my memories are burned with this sweet day. AHHH I need to sleep on it, but Comic Con is so soon!

I just saw the news and that guy I took a picture of was George Pennacchio, ABC New’s “Entertainment Guru”, who said that Angelina spent more time with the fans than the press. Perfect woman. I might have been on the TV in front of American Apparel, but I’ll have to watch again. Sigh. Good times. This basically restored our hope in Hollywood premieres, which is bad because I can’t just keep going to Hollywood all the time (actually, way too much this past week). But I can’t help it. I love me my celebrities. Real people suck because they can hurt you.

~ by Btab on 19 July 2010.

2 Responses to “The Salt In My Wound”

  1. Btab, that is awesome! “they wanted to adopt me” gave me major, MAJOR lolz. 🙂 Munn on Sunday, Angelina AND Brad Pitt on Monday… what the hell else have you got planned for tomorrow (and can I be there with you?)?!? 🙂

  2. hahahah i loveeeee it!!! esp. the theory of you reminding them of Maddox!!! LOOLOLOL!!!

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