The Dog Humps a Unicorn

The "What? It's so late and I haven't done anything all day" face. It feels good in small doses.

Boy, it’s late in the day, which seemed to pass by rather quickly. Let’s see, I got a lot of sleep, so I’m not tired at all– I’m actually the opposite, and am feeling pretty crazy. It’s been a wild day. I had fun freezing and talking on the beach during a full moon in the wee hours of the morning, was given horrid service at McDonald’s when they opened at 5:35 a.m.– 5 minutes later than they said they would, went to sleep and then woke up to find out it was noon. And then time moved even faster whilst hanging out with friends just sitting around…and not really remembering what we did…Oh, I kept up with the Kardashians, played some games, watched a dog hump a hand puppet, and then here I am. As I walked into the house, my parents were just leaving, all dressed up for some party. LOL. I guess that’s where my day went since I got back home. I hope the weekend doesn’t pass by too quickly! Oh wait– I remember I still get Memorial Day off!

Male dogs are gross. They like to lick their penis and let it out so it can touch people and they just do it so casually. Wait, I sound jealous. And then they hump random things in public! Scandalous. My friend Eileen has this fat chihuahua that has this unicorn hand puppet that he likes to hump randomly. And it’s not like when you see dogs hump a leg. I was watching intently and he likes to bite its legs or its neck, grasp on with his front paws, arch his back, and then hop around with his lipstick out. And then when he’s done with it, he just casually goes around to play with his ball or Eileen or something. Then he’ll get horny again and start humping. What a carefree life, though sad that he can’t really ever complete his sexual aggression into some female and have babies. That’s why I like female dogs better. Then I can pet the egg sack area without worrying that a pink fleshy penis will pop out and rub its stickiness against my hand. Yes, this happened in my childhood, scarring me forever.

It’s been intense. I finally started playing Pokemon again and Amadeo gave me a Cyndaquil egg, which I’ve been training. Then I finally went through the process to find a Raikou and I just now caught it so I can finally take a break from that game. It took forever, but I did it!

Now I’m hungry.

PS. Kim Kardashian is super hot and nice and delicious and sweet and voluptuous like a nice roasted pork covered in sweet and sour sauce. Ohhhhh yesssssss

~ by Btab on 29 May 2010.

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