I played games for the first time in a long time. Of course, since I can’t afford new games, I just played Arkham Asylum (I played this during the new year of the tiger too. Yup, still impossibly difficult), and the FFXIII-2 demo. So excited for new games soon…maybe…I realized that I put a lot of my leisure time into reading, which is a nice alternative to gaming.

I also started wearing my last pair of contacts I have before I go back to the optometrist next month. I realized I’ve been wearing glasses a lot lately…for the past couple of months. They’re so comfortable and I guess I only need contacts for cutting my hair (which I did this weekend, too).

Saturday was gloomy. I studied and then went to the Getty with APO. So cold. So much art. So cold.

Sunday was another story.

I don’t know the exact moment where I decided I actually wanted to get inked, but it has officially happened. I had a list of ideas probably around the time I turned 19, but I never got around to deciding officially. During the year of being 19, I decided I wanted a quote that I try to live my life by as my first tattoo. Earlier this month, I started designing what I wanted it to look like. It changed drastically from its infancy- I started out wanting on my ribs, but then I thought the quote by itself would look plain. So I wanted to add a design to it. I added a dragon and moved it to my back. As I was looking at dragon designs, I found one that I thought was really cool, and decided it would look better larger and by itself (as my next tattoo).

So I moved my quote to my bicep, and combined with my other tattoo idea: bats. I started finalizing the font, the design of the bats, and the placement of the bats around the words. Last week, my sister and I went into White Lotus tattoo to show them our designs and get our price quotes. We went back a day later to set an appointment.

And we arrive to Sunday. I was pretty nervous, and as a first-timer, I didn’t really know what to expect. But I had the support of 3LP (NLP?), so all was well. Fast forward past the brutal waiting time. The first poke of the needle was pretty intense, like teeth-grinding, eye-closing intensity. It was around the inner elbow, so I guess that’s why it was so painful. And then everything else was pretty fine except the part closer to the armpit also hurt and the bottom-most part close to the back of the arm. It hurt more than I thought it would, but it wasn’t unbearable. My hand got really numb, which was a cool feeling. I always like the out-of-body feeling of numbness. Anyway, I was pretty much zoning out of all the conversations and just looking up into the light. I found my mind wandering to wondering which part of the tattoo he was working on at the current moment. My hands got sweaty throughout the ordeal.

It was over in about an hour. He said that it was a pretty precise font that he may have messed up if I wasn’t so still. I was surprised I did stay so still, as I thought I was probably shaking. But when I looked at the finished product in the mirror, I was so amazed and happy at the way it turned out. It is so beautiful. I do have to applaud people who get large, detailed, intricate tattoos and sit for hours at a time…and even more, those that get them in sensitive body areas.

The next few weeks will be crucial in taking care of it and having to maneuver around my parents. To reveal or not to reveal? When would be a good time? How should I do it? I can keep it hidden for the most part, but we will see.

Anyway, I cannot wait to get my next tattoo!

The meaning behind the tattoo (here comes the cheese!):

My life motto is to “be your own hero”. It mainly has to do with self-actualization. I think it’s great to have people who you look up to- heroes. I have many. But at the end of the day, I have to do what makes me happy; I want to be proud of the person I am. I try to be my own hero every day. Getting it tattooed where I can look at it every day in the mirror just emphasizes it for me. The bats have a lot of symbolism. For me, mainly it’s about the fact that change/adaptation/transition/growth is nothing new to life and I love to embrace change, whether it comes by chance or whether I strive to change. I always try to change for the better. Overall, it’s a subtle homage to Batman, one of my heroes. Like Batman, I would like to know my fears and address them rather than run from them. Also, the font is Gotham bold.

Gosh, I love my tattoo. And I know I will love all my future tattoos as long as they represent something important to me. My arm is sore.

Like right after it was finished.

The first week of school wasn’t too bad. I’ve just been getting used to the schedule. So far, things have been pretty chill because there are no tests. I’ve missed seeing people I know on campus, saying hi, and sitting with people in class. Yay for school, right?! I’ll be singing another tune in a couple of weeks! But thank the gods of Olympus for this three-day weekend…it’s kind of like weaning myself off of winter break slowly.

Some pretty major shit has gone down in the past week.

I got into Public Health Sciences as my new major. Promptly after it was approved, I applied for graduation this summer. It’s very official, and there’s no turning back. It’s pretty set in stone, but I’m going to the counselor to make sure next week. It’s kind of a weird feeling because I’ve been planning for this for a year now, but it’s now done. Now, it feels like everything is happening so fast. There is no time ever! ..I’m sure you guys have probably heard all this from me over and over in the past few months. Please excuse it all, I’m just pretty excited/anxious.

I put other hobbies aside for the moment to design my first tattoo. There were a lot of drafts and a lot of drastic changes, but I’ve finally settled with what I want. I already have the rough designs for my second, third, and fourth tattoos as well! I’m going to get addicted to inking myself…but only on the left side! I’m keeping my right half pristine, I’ve decided. It’s weird, every time I think of a new tattoo, I think how cool it’d look on the left side of my body. I really do believe that tattooing is so beautiful if done correctly, so I want my body to be a canvas for beautiful ink to stay forever. I’ve been wanting tattoos since I turned 18; it’s been a long time coming, but finally, I’m planning on getting it within the next couple of weeks.

Since the world my undergraduate career is ending, I also started inventorying my old textbooks. And I’ve become addicted to online selling almost as much as online shopping! I had a stack of high school AP/SAT/ACT/IB test-prep books that I plan to donate to the library. However, I am keeping my biology/chemistry textbooks from college that may be useful in the future. What I plan on selling is all the books from GE courses. It’s crazy how much books cost. I spent ~$500 on “useless” textbooks, used them for a quarter, and now have them laying around to sell. I put them up on Amazon, and so far, have had a return rate of ~50%, selling the majority of them within the first 24 hours (which surprised me, as I didn’t think any of them would sell). The return rate is pretty sad, but hey- any money back is good, I guess. It just sucks when a newer edition has come out and the book you bought is now worth nothing. Mainly, the books from my favorite class have quickly been sold. This class is Classics 45A, all about Rome mythology. It was a lot of reading, but it was so fun. Good memories. I sat around reminiscing for a while…

With the recent earnings from selling books, I finally purchased a…new laptop battery! It will be here soon. But can you just imagine…no more slaving away by running to classes, being super early, and being alone…just to sit by an outlet! Oh, the sacrifices I will no longer have to make. Yes, this is a big deal to me because it’s annoying that my laptop only lasts 7 minutes without being plugged in. Something dire may happen where I will need my laptop but it will have died. Luckily, it hasn’t happened yet. But anyway…this battery lasted a solid 3.25 years, so I’m happy about that. Let’s hope this new battery has long life.

Life feels pretty great right now. It’s moments like these that I want to keep with me for the rest of my life. I feel like I am accomplishing stuff.

I finally checked my grades today from last quarter. They were good, but my GPA barely went up. And I had a panic attack because by the time I graduate, my GPA won’t be competitive at all. I’m so worried. And no, I’m not going to stay at UCI for another year taking “easy” classes to boost my GPA, because in the end: it won’t do much and it’s a waste of time and money. People who want to boost their GPA by staying and taking random classes are stupid because for grad school, overall GPA doesn’t matter as much as major-related GPA. My science GPA sucks. I should have tried harder. I have also been conflicted with taking the easier classes and teachers over taking classes that I want to take even though they are challenging. My GPA suffered and will suffer, which sucks. But I’m not in college to take useless classes just because they’re an easy A. It’s an internal conflict that has external repercussions.

In addition, I applied to change my major finally. I’ve been working at this for a good year now, I think. Inception seems like so long ago. Hopefully this all works out. Once it’s official, I can apply for graduation. And then I have to talk to a counselor to make sure everything is on track.

I had one class today. And it’s probably going to be my hardest class this quarter (or ever?). It’s already stressing me out and I have so many tests this quarter in all my classes, and everything overlaps and I’m going to die. And then I have to worry about getting textbooks…get older editions for cheaper? Order online and wait for it to get here? I already have so much reading and I will be behind for a couple of weeks. Tests start in a couple of weeks. Shit. I’ve been planning out my weekly schedules so I can make sure I’m on track and routinize everything so I can get used to this schedule.

And I have to apply to jobs still to get a job this quarter. Don’t even get me started on this.

I’m graduating soon (hopefully). There’s a lot of stuff I still want to do while I’m still around. I hope I have time to fit in all this stuff and stop to smell these hypothetical roses before it’s too late. I don’t want my youth to pass me by. On that note, I feel like taking more than one year off before I go to grad school. I think that’s what I want to do, because I shouldn’t rush things. On top of that, I’m graduating soon and there’s so much I need to do before going to grad school. I don’t know how my parents will feel about this.

I’m so fucking stressed out with all this stuff running through my mind. It’s too late to redo all this stuff, so I got to look forward and hope for the best MAKE IT ALL HAPPEN. I think it’s time to get that inspirational tattoo I’ve wanted.

Just a little bit of problems to start the quarter. Sigh.

The first week was already recapped in the last post, leading up to my birthday, a day which I really enjoyed this year. Who knew that not doing anything would be so peaceful and nice. There were a multitude of reasons why I didn’t want to do anything this year, but anyway.

Being mellow on the eve of my birthday led into sitting in the car and talking (with Amadeo and Alan) then sleeping until 6 am, after which I high-tailed it back into my bed and slept. And then I woke up in the afternoon to evening time…which I guess is like 4 pm. So then, for the rest of the day, I just put my iTunes on shuffle and drew (my Drive drawing) until the end of the weekend. What a relaxing weekend it was and what a beautiful moment to feel in the zone for a full couple of days. I feel like it would be a nice tradition to take my birthday off, escape reality, isolate myself, and just have me time for a whole day for hobbies and reflection. That would be nice…except for next year, which shall possibly be Vegas!

Thanks to Alan for getting me new and beautiful gold guitar strings and to Kathy for getting me a chrome Batman emblem to put on my car. Also, thanks to Christian Bale for being in the wonderful movie, Flowers of War, a new favorite.

Overall, nothing extraordinary over break. The second and third week were spent with friends. Catching up, having long talks, doing stupid shit, and having a good time. That’s what break’s all about! The weeks went by pretty quickly just hanging out and planning the next hangout, etc.

The weekend after my birthday was Christmas weekend, half of which was spent at my aunt’s house. Who knew the food could get better than Thanksgiving’s feast? So good to just eat and sit with family. I got some money for Christmas. After I got home, I decided to just play LEGO Harry Potter: Years 1-4 and finally beat everything…my first 100% Trophies! I played into the wee hours of the morning and then hung out with Kathy and Dhruv on Christmas night.

The weekend after was New Year’s weekend, which was spent at Alan’s, being chill with Alan and Eileen eating shrimp tempura until…POP goes all the balloons! Although the mark of the new year is something completely relative, I think it helps set another milestone for me and mark a new beginning that I can look forward to.

This week was spent shopping and reading and stressing out and watching shows that have come back. After I went home from Alan’s, I started reflecting about the break and how I did not do all the shit I needed to do. And then I started freaking out. And then I read a lot. And then I refined my list of all the things I wanted and since I had some money saved up, I decided to get some new clothes. I’m not sure why, but I wanted a wardrobe update, so I compiled a list of things I wanted…and I got most of it! There was a lot of actual browsing, trying stuff on, buying, and returning. I have never spent that much time shopping each day. It was strange. Of course, bargains are always exhilarating. I’m poor again though because I couldn’t stop.

The night of the first day of the year came quickly. And it was the last time I would see Ryan and Eileen…forever the rest of break because they were headed away from home. On Friday, I woke up early for Dim Sum with Alan, Amadeo, and Kathy, hanging out for the last time before break ended. On Saturday, I finally got to hang out with Anthony! YES. I’ve been waiting too long. Talking, talking, talking, reflecting, speaking hypothetically, and pondering life and the future. We are basically twins and always have a great time. I missed you buddy and hope to see more of you this quarter!

I spend my last hours reflecting. So much to do before I graduate. For now, I ponder resolutions…lately, I have been adding resolutions to my list randomly throughout Fall, so I haven’t really sat down and made an explicit list of things to do. There’s always so many ways to grow as a person, and that’s really my resolution. Sigh. Life goes on.

Passion. Adventure. Change.

My Christmas card. Hey, has anybody seen Perry? (It's not to late to send these out! I have a very HQ version...)

So. It seems like an annual tradition that I post around this time. I’m either posting December 16, 17, or 18, I can never remember correctly. You know how there are different important time periods in a relationship? That’s like this blog. November 2009 was when I created the blog. So that would be when we met. December 16, 2009 was my first official post besides the ones in November. So that’s like when we first started dating. December 18, 2009 was my first post in the 365 Portraits project. So that’s like when we started going steady. December 17, 2010 was when I finished the 365 Portraits project. So that’s when we got married and started the marriage phase where I post whenever I want to. It all makes sense, right? I don’t know, I just made that up on the spot.

But anyway. Here we are. December 16. My last day of being a teenager, so I guess it’s a pretty important milestone. Previous to my 19th birthday, I threw a party every year since around middle/high school. For my 19th, I just threw a Christmas party. This year, I decided not to plan anything and leave it up to chance. What will I do tomorrow? In honesty, I’ll probably be sleeping for half the day. And then sit around doing nothing. This is all rationalized in the idea that I will do something awesome for my 21st next year. We will see.

It’s also been an official week since I finished finals and began Winter Break. It has been very nice. I decided to give my first week up to nothing. So I slept and watched movies and hung out with friends. From the 10th to the 14th, I watched 18 movies that I’ve had on my list since the beginning of 2011. No time, no money. There would have been more, but the website I use doesn’t have them all up yet, so I still have some on my To-Watch list. On the other hand, it probably seems like a small amount of movies to want to watch for the entire year. I’m not really sure, I just see trailers and if it’s interesting, I’ll add it to the list. There’s probably a ton of great movies of 2011 that I will never see. All of the movies I did see were pretty good, but none broke into my favorites. That’s slightly unfortunate, but then again, I am running out of room on my shelf for new movies.

Besides movies, I also hung out with Alan and Amadeo for a couple days in between. Videogames, photoshoot, visiting Kathy, baking with Ryan, planning ideas of what to do for the rest of break, etc. Actually, that was over the weekend, as I haven’t been out of the house for like 4 days. I slept for more than half the day and whatever hours I had left, I was spending watching movies. Oops.

In the next 3 weeks before school, I have a strict schedule to keep up with, so I’m excited for that. It’s oddly freeing not having to worry about eating enough calories for the day. But I probably lost a ton of weight and back at my skinny self again. Just kidding, still fat.

I’ll keep you posted.

So. It has been a pretty great year in terms of a lot of stuff that I won’t go into detail about. I learned a lot about myself and others. So much shit I don’t remember. But that’s what this blog is for! People’s Choice Awards with Shannon. Visiting Alan in UCLA by myself. Wicked with my sister. ALPHA PHI OMEGA. Concerts, concerts, concerts. Those dreaded summer classes. Getting fat all year. Learning who my real friends are. And all the little things in between that made my year so enjoyable and stressful and amazing.

I don’t really know what to say. My year of being 19 has been an eye-opener. It’s hard to explain, but I feel different and revitalized. I have a new-found appreciation for my life. Here’s to the next 20 years being even more wonderful and different!

Today, when the show started here on the West Coast, I got a huge surge from people searching about the show. I do not aim to disappoint! So I guess, here I am again this year to continue tradition.

Goodies:

• Candice got to open! Any time they show her in the behind the scenes stuff, I just melt because her accent is so hot and she is just so beautiful.
• The themes were pretty good; I loved the superhero and aquatic themes!
• The performances were great, and the songs they chose for non-performance runways were perfect too. Good music all around!
• Erin is a nerd! What a cutie.
• I saw some Izabel!
• Alessandra is still a hottie.
• Okay, I admit, Miranda looks banging.

Boo:

• There was barely any Candice!
• Really, CBS, you’re going to censor the butts? VSFS is all about beauty and the female form. How dare you censor their nice asses!
• New girls were…eh (in relativity to my favorites). I wonder where Rosie was…

Here are my favorite girls in their hottest outfits tonight:

1. Candice Swanepoel

2. Erin Heatherton

3. Miranda Kerr

4. Alessandra Ambrosio

5. Izabel Goulart

Until next year! Looking at this will last me until then (I mean, just look at their legs, gosh…)!

The innocence of a carefree weekend.

I’m stressed out as fuck times a million, but this weekend has been kind to me.

Monday, went to class. Tuesday, I did homework. Wednesday, I ditched class for the first time this quarter (but accidentally because I actually didn’t wake up). Thursday, I was going to do homework, but then I decided I should relax on Thanksgiving Day (totally justified, right?). Blah blah blah Black Friday.

Friday night! Yay! I dubbed it Orange Friday for no apparent reason, but it’s the day after Thanksgiving where you celebrate with friends because you appreciate them. So fun! Ghetto dessert making (non-bake, woo!), classic games (by the way, King’s Cup with non-alcoholic drinks is so much more intense…it was truly the darkest time line), and an all around good time. I’m so thankful for the friends that have been around what seems like forever. I know I sometimes take you guys for granted because I feel like you guys will always be there, but I love you guys so much. I’m so thankful for all the friends in my life (so cliche, but it’s true, I got lucky). Stayed up late into wee hours of the morning with Alan talking and proofreading a certain essay with Amadeo sleeping with Persie (classic 3LP?).

Nguyen Family Holiday Saturday (because we celebrate every holiday the same way and always on a Saturday) has arrived! The weather was so beautiful, and there was so much really good food. It was almost ridiculous. I noticed some new additions, as in, we had a lot more white people food this time around. Of course, still no turkey (ham and roast beef instead). I basically ate the whole time I was there. I’m thankful for my family too, obviously…even though I don’t always show it. I can go into a sappy rant about this, but there’s no need. I am thankful for something awesome: my aunt makes these amazing mashed/baked potatoes. They’re scooped out, mashed, and placed back into the shell and then cheese, bacon, and broccoli bits are added on top. They are so delicious, it’s crazy.

Sunday is catch up day because I just realized I did nothing all week.

What else am I thankful for? Too many things. Too corny. I just need to and will take the time to appreciate all things big and small later…when I’m alone and have some downtime. It’s always pertinent that I remember to take time to smell the roses and realize how much I have in my life. I will say that I am thankful for all the things that have happened this year and how much I have learned and grown from all the new experiences. I am thankful for life’s challenges.